Half Truths

The flickering flame caught my attention as I watched out the window into the yellow hall across the street. The flame glowed orange within a hot red orb, dancing to the beat of the rain as it poured onto the souls down below. I whispered "I'm sorry" even though I knew you wouldn't hear me, and then tried out a smile to hide the truth. Your eyes were concerned and I couldn't take it so I stared out the window again. I knew you wanted to ask and I'll thank you now for not. Sometimes I feel you still know me so well, but other times I wonder if you ever knew me at all. It doesn't matter now anyway, does it? No. no. no.

Did you remember the significance of the day? Did you know why tears had sprung up in that briefest of moments? I thought perhaps you had but then again maybe it was just me and I should probably forget about such things. But as we sat in the familiar darkened room I couldn't help but to remember and I had to turn away to the rain once more.

I wonder if you realize and I know time can go by so fast but this is all fixed into my mind so clear and I wish it would just wash away but something just clings on and I try to figure it all out but I can't on my own and I'm afraid to ask so I sit rambling to myself and end up back with the same wonderings ...

And I'm so tired of writing sad little love songs.