O Seu Adeus

He slowly sipped from his rum and coke. It was strong enough to make him grimace but was it strong enough to make him forget? His lean back melted into his old worn pumpkin spice chair, stolen from his grandfather's basement 10 years ago. It was full of memories - some good, some bad, some innocent enough and others to make one blush. She had hated that chair. Said it was God-awful ugly and how could he let it sit out in the open like that? He took another sip, trying to drink her away. Long rough fingers felt for his cigarettes, he slid one out and grabbed his lighter. She always disliked his habit, yet had bought him this silver engraved Zippo for an anniversary. His fingertips caressed the writing, faded yet so full of meaning. He lit the cigarette, knowing full well she would have something to say about it, if she were there.

"Well, you're not here, are you? So I can smoke the whole damn pack if I want to, fall asleep and burn the house down, and what are you going to do? Nothing. Nothing at all..."

He closed his eyes and saw her. Eyes as bright as summer's morning, hair flowing behind her as she walked. Her smile could bring anyone to their knees. Remembered how her skin felt, her smell, her laughter, her lips. His eyes shut tighter as he tried to erase her but he could not. She was too much a part of his life, even now as he tried to push her away. It wasn't fair, he felt, to be in this house alone while she left him. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted her here, in this homely chair, with his worker's arms tucked around her frail tragic body. His gray eyes bubbled over with salty tears and he immediately wiped them away. He lifted his glass to his lips and gulped the alcohol down, feeling the burn rush through his soul. Unsteadily standing he put out the cigarette and turned off the light. His feet quietly shuffled down the dark hall, past old photos smiling in the night. He lay down on his cold lonely bed and whispered into the surrounding blackness.

"Goodnight love. I miss you"

He smiled for her and once again closed his eyes.